Women, how to keep your men from becoming “husbands”.

While most women will admit, that they’ve given up the “bad boys” and their caution to the wind ways! for someone much more responsible, family oriented and conservative (fiscally) in order to get married and start a family; they may find that, since we all know that, “Girls just wanna have fun”, they’re getting a little “short sheeted” on that – fun- thing.

Why is that? I mean what law or force of nature is there that says, once man has found his mate, … (and we all know btw that that whole thing is an oxymoron!  It is the women who control who gets who, and the whole marriage thing) he inevitably stops dressing quite as stylishly.  He walks around with a little more dour face, most of the time, in fact a face of real consternation – as though, figuring out where to place the “swing set” was a matter of National Security.  He may also develop a proclivity for keeping his hands in his pockets, and rocking back and forth on his heels. The moments of spontaneous laughter, become less and less.  In fact, it becomes harder and harder to tap into his sense of humor at all; as though the “Funny Bone” is somethng one needs to go to the museum of  natural history, to observe!

Now, we all know that there are exceptions to every rule.  You folks don’t need to read this entry.  If you somehow came out of an egg with wiring that said –  “Go through life with a zest for each new day, and be released of the boredom or concern for it’s petty details;” – anonymous,  then this entry definitely doesn’t pertain.

What in fact is this man you married, now thinking about!, seemingly – all the time.  Well, I’ll tell you, but it’s a long story.  And, not as long as some, because I cut mine off (or my ex-wife did) at 15 years.   It is a matter of brain washing, being a member of the tribe, and succumbing to Madison Ave. in the subtlest ways.  It starts with the Ant and the Grasshopper story.  The Ant that is continuously harvesting for the cold snowy winter, is the hunter gatherer male.  That male is gathering for a house, a bigger car, a second car, some vacation time…. and then college, perhaps a wedding or two or three… and then retirement.  The Grasshopper, may or may not be the women in the relationship.  And, since we aren’t here to persecute women – we won’t draw analogies of that flavor.  Suffice it to say, that most red blooded American males (of any ancestry) have been brought up and modeled for (can you say Stepford Wives – reverse the gender), in such a manner that accumulating wealth in order to afford the affore mentioned “neccessaties” is of ongoing concern.  In fact due to the fact that these goals cannot be unbundled, segregated, striated or categorized into compartments that can easily be put away and rolled out, just when we want to think about them; you could say (and practically see) that these goals are never very far from the surface of ones thoughts:)

Guys get it from watching their fathers mow the lawn – on the weekends, and then doing it themselves; from getting an allowance and saving it or spending it.  They get it from hearing Mom and Dad argue, or discuss (you say Tomato, I say tow ma tow), money matters.  They get it by knowing that although they have the ultimate responsibility of making the “nut”, that they are going to be challenged as to  how it is spent, almost every step of the way, by their spouse!

It is a funny thing that money thing.  You can bet that the person who earns most of it for the family really, really, really, deep inside is desirous of how it should be spent or invested.  it is an evolutionary thing (you heard it hear first!).   And, believe you me, that person would at least crack a smile a little more often…. if they weren’t challenged about it.  I’m just sayin’.  Ok, I’m thinking this is book material, with lots of anectdotal evidence and almost no hard fact back-up.  Never the less, this is a good time to stop with this entry…. to be continued.

 

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